Sick with sadness.
Sick with remorse.
Sick with regret.
Sick with confusion.
Sick with loss.
I'm having a hard time keeping myself together right now.
I'm a little short on self control.
I feel helpless.
And yes, apparently very emo.
There's a lot going on in my life right now. I've been keeping it together pretty well, all things considered. But losing Zeke was enough to open the flood gates and let all of the emotions that I've tried so hard to hide away pour out once again. It seems like every time I start to get things back under control, something else happens that leads me to lose it again.
I know I'll pull through. I know I'll be okay. I might even come out of it stronger, and maybe even a bit more wise. But right now it's difficult for me to see the good things in life.
For the time being, I'm back to feeling distant, the world around me nothing more than some surreal landscape with too much going on and an eerie soundtrack to top it off.